You tell me, Garren. What is your description? Or does this article capture it?
HP: Does it matter whether you have 5 or 50 HP when you throw yourself into the maw of a white dragon? Really, I want to know.
AC: Once again, do armor or agility matter when you are in the stomach of a gelatinous cube?
At least your description is the thing about you that is not a blight upon the existence of living creatures. Then again, your description is the only thing about you that is not a blight upon the existence of living creatures.
Do you have one? If you do, please tell me, because all I can see is inability to communicate on the most basic levels and unwarranted, unconstrained rebelliousness and rage.
Does “dies often” count as a quirk? Or “pretty much the embodiment of monster bait”? What about “illithid food”? Maybe we could focus on your interaction with people instead. I think some good quirks to list are “charismatic as an owlbear with a tummy ache”. Maybe “bark of a dragon, bite of a newborn”?
P.S. Garren, I’ll change this as soon as I show it to Elizabeth. We’ll agree on your real traits :).